New EA song betrays future ambitions…

We’re through with standin’ in line
To snaffle Midnight Club
We’re at the bottom of the barrel
And we’re nowhere near a pub
Till we own all the gamers
We’re not where we wanted to be
(Tell us what you want)

I want a software house with a
Billion dollar IP
So we can run ‘em underground
And say “tee hee hee”
But we’re only willing to pay about ten new pee
(Yeah, so tell us what you need)

We need an ad campaign that’s got no limit
And to coax Jack Thompson to co-star in it

Gonna turn the Daily Mirror
seventy shades of green

–(Been there done that)–

We want a new game engine

That is just like theirs

But we’ll change the name

so you don’t split hairs
The graphics might be different but it’s still all the same to me

We’re gonna trade their stocks for fortunes in games

And we couldn’t give a toss if you call us names

[CHORUS]
‘Cause we all just wanna buy up Rockstar

Sit in penthouse offices smokin’ cigars

The games come cheap and the coders come free

We’ll own every goddamned devco far as you can see

And we’ll hang out on the E3 floor

And we’ll own every booth cos there’s no indies anymore

In the VIP press lounge where the liggers are cheap

We’ll buy every perfect ten score and you won’t sleep

Hey, ey we’re gonna own Rockstar.

Hey, ey we’re gonna own that Rockstar.

Y’see that Grand Theft Auto’s just got us beat

Cos we know we can’t make a game that’s just as neat

If you can’t beat ‘em buy ‘em, sounds pretty good to me

And then once we gott’em we’ll make endless sequels

and prequels and Wiiquels and PS3quels

Pretty soon you’ll be able to get GTA briefs

(So how you gonna do it?)

We’re gonna trade their shares for fortunes in games

We’re gonna cut their budget

So they get a shit name

‘Cause we all just wanna buy up Rockstar
Cos the fuckers won’t come easy, they won’t get far
We got Bullfrog and Maxis and we buggered Westwood
Ain’t nobody in the business that won’t be in our hood

And once we’ve got all the software houses

we’ll buy up Nintendo and make ‘em wear blouses

Then we’ll cripple Microsoft, and kick Sony in the balls

Even Infogrames ain’t safe cos we really hate those Gauls

Every shitbox devco’s gonna wind up here
Every tinpot outfit and all their gear
When we’ve finally got ‘em all we can just rest easy

And we do not give a toss if it makes you queasy

Hey hey we’re gonna buy up Rockstar

Yay hey, we’re gonna pulverise Rockstar

(and we’ll hire Uwe Boll to make the GTA Movie too, you fags!)

Tags: EA, Portal, Song Lyrics