The Byron Report - “It’s just statin’ the bleedin’ obvious, innit!” says Tanya

Government sweetheart and new spokesperson for the evil that is videogaming, Dr Tanya Byron picked up a cool 1.2 million pound payment cheque for The Byron Report - the new white paper showing how the nation’s children can be saved from the evils of videogaming.

Laughing all the way to the bank, Ms Byron, 44 gave an exclusive interview to Dead Pixels on Toast.

“It’s a bit bleedin’ obvious really” she said, through a mouthful of scottish shortcake crumbs and a rather sexy little cup of darjeeling. “I just put what I thought would sound good. I mean everyone’s sayin’ how I said to put age ratings on games like they are on films! Hah, look at your game boxes and they’re already there innit!”

She cackled, making us slightly uncomfortable but still determined to sneak a look down her top at her rather bounteous mammaries.

Ms Byron has been commissioned to write a follow-up report in a year’s time entitled “The Games Industry - How they want to harvest your organs and sell kittens to the chinese for medical experiments” which will shockingly make the suggestion that parents take responsibility for what their child is exposed to, and stop fiddling with their private parts while watching Judge Judy and Loose Women instead.