Pucker up, torrent monkey, it's hot-poker-up-the-jacksy time!
Pirates and torrenters are scurrying into dark chasms of fear tonight as the UK government plans for a Pirate-Finder-General have been unveiled, with Lord Peter Mandleson appointed as the first PFG.
The Pirate Finder General will be given appropriate powers to deal with those who wilfully infringe copyright including:
1) Being able to sneak into their house and take a dump in their computer’s DVD ROM or CD ROM Drive
2) Culling of the first born of any pirates / torrenters who bear young
3) Drawing a big red X in dripping paint on people’s front doors
4) Running down hills in force 9 gales, with cape billowing in the wind, roaring at the top of their voice
Other countries are looking towards similar measures to combat piracy, which has got completely out of control and has been very naughty since the invention of the Internet by George A. Intzarnecht in 1886.
