Hardcore gamers “not all that”, says Microsoft

A source within Microsoft has exclusively revealed to DPoT that the industry giant will be abandoning deep and refined gameplay in favour of a more accessible, novice friendly approach.

“Through extensive work with focus groups, we have established that people who attend focus groups are more likely to want ‘quick fix’ gaming, rather than spending hours getting to grips with polished and intuitive control systems,” they said. “As a result, all future Microsoft games releases must adhere to the ‘one button does it all’ standard”.

“Let’s face it,” they added, “hardcore gamers account for less than 1% of all focus group attendees. Our research has established that button mashing is the de facto method for nearly all gamers and we want to tap into that market with our new range of games and accessories”.

First off the production line in this new regime will be Ninja Gaiden: Pink, an on-rails shooter set in modern San Fransisco.