An unnamed Rotherhyde man has spend upwards of £20,000 building the ultimate badass PC gaming rig. Nicknamed “The Beast”, the PC consumes as much power as the average house covered in christmas lights, requires specialised cooling equipment, drives a bank of 48 monitors, and is capable of running Crysis at full resolution with all effects switched on at an eyeball melting 6,222,984 frames per second.
“It all started the last time I went for a pee” said the unnamed man. “I thought I had a stray grey pubic hair until I pissed out of it. It seemed like a good idea to throw more money at my PC gaming hobby than at women and beer at that point in time”.
The man now holds the Guinness World Record – not for the fastest gaming rig on the planet but for going for the longest period of time without shooting his load to something that didn’t end in .jpg